


ice boxed heart

by ncrthernlites



Series: the words they choose to say [3]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Dialogue, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post Samaritan, Shaw's a Cop, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-29 11:24:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12629943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncrthernlites/pseuds/ncrthernlites
Summary: post-samaritan therapy session.[dialogue]





	1. ice boxed heart

"Where's your favorite place to go?" 

"I don't have one." 

"It doesn't exactly have to be a place. It can be a state of mind, a memory, a person, a thing." 

"Aside from food and whisky, I don't have anything." 

"No friends, family, significant other that make you happy?" 

"As I've been saying, I don't get happy. No one can change that. But, no, there's no one." 

"How about...calm? Anyone who can make you not so angry? Someone you're comfortable with?" 

"The closest I ever got to a...relationship was with...someone I knew. Not too long ago." 

"Where did this person go?" 

"She died." 

"I am sorry." 

"Don't be. I don't feel anything you need to be sorry for." 

"But, she was the person you were closest to?" 

"It was...we were complicated." 

"Do you mind me asking how she died?" 

"She was shot." 

"Is her murder why you became a cop?" 

"No, I needed a job. And, now that I have one, I'm being forced to sit and talk to you." 

"Because you've shot five suspects in the four months you've been on the force. It's a lot, even for an experienced cop." 

"I was in the marines, it hasn't been my first go-around." 

"Was she – the woman you knew – in the marines with you?" 

"No, we were co-workers for a...my previous employer." 

"Hm, how long did you two work together?" 

"Hard to tell." 

"Complicated, right?" 

"Sure." 

"Do you miss her?" 

"Well, I wish she were alive." 

"Do you visit her grave, or have her ashes?" 

"I don't want to talk about Root anymore." 

"Root? Was that her name?" 

"We're done here." 

"You can leave, if you want, but it won't get your suspension over any faster." 

"Fine, yes, her name was Root. Yes, I visit her grave, happy?" 

"No, far from happy." 

"What do you want me to say? That my father died when I was a kid? How I felt no emotion to it? How I was kicked out of my medical residency for having an Axis II Personality DIsorder? How my...girlfriend, and so many other friends, died? How the guy who caused this ran away without saying goodbye? How I hate that I feel a hole in my chest when I think about her? How she's the only reason I've cried in decades? How I fought so hard and so long to get back to her and keep her safe, only for a coward to shoot her? Is that what you want me to say?" 

"Thank you for sharing, Sameen. Our next appointment will be Thursday at 10:30. Till then, try to find the thing that makes you feel content." 

"It was Root, she was my safe place. And, don't call me 'Sameen,'" Shaw said, slamming the door of the therapist's office.


	2. night shocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> therapy session number 2: Shaw can't sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never intended to make a second chapter. Just popped in my head. May or may not continue further.

"I can't sleep." 

 

"Why is that?" 

 

"When I, uh...got back a few months ago, I started to have nightmares." 

 

"Do you remember any of them?" 

 

"They were all of people trying to get me to kill my friends." 

 

"Why do you think you have these nightmares?" 

 

"I was held for over nine months and tortured." 

 

"And they tried to make you turn against your friends?" 

 

"Something like that." 

 

"So, now you have nightmares. And, Root calmed you down from those?" 

 

"She was there." 

 

"What did she do to make you feel better?" 

 

"Sat with me. Sometimes I'd let her...rub my back, play with my hair." 

 

"And, now that she's gone, there's nothing to help you through the bad dreams." 

 

"I don’t need help. It was just...nice to have someone there." 

 

"Yet, you can't sleep without her." 

 

"I can handle it." 

 

"Then, why bring it up? You wouldn't have mentioned it If it weren't an issue." 

 

"Change the subject." 

 

"Okay. I know about Root, but I also know you have other friends. Who are they?" 

 

"Dead, or gone. There's Lionel, and my dog. That's it." 

 

"According to your file, you are the ward of a 13 year old girl, Genrika?" 

 

"Gen. She was the ward of my previous boss. When he disappeared, I wasn't going to let her just end up with someone she doesn't know." 

 

"Where is she?" 

 

"A private school." 

 

"Do you go to see Gen?" 

 

"I try to. Don't really get to find the time." 

 

"Do you and her get along?" 

 

"I saved her from some bad people, I say we get along/" 

 

"Have you ever wanted kids." 

 

"Hell no." 

 

"Yet, you kind of have one?" 

 

"Look, it’s not like she's my kid or anything. She's just...a kid who needed help." 

 

"You also mentioned a dog. What’s their name?" 

 

"Bear. He's military trained, my friend has rescued him. We all kinda owned him at work." 

 

"Have you tried using bear to calm you down? You know, from the nightmares?" 

 

"He calms me down." 

 

"But, not as much as Root did?" 

 

"Stop talking about Root." 

 

"I would, but, she seems to be the strongest connection you're had. And, you're struggling with her loss." 

 

"I don't struggle, or grieve." 

 

"Yet, you can't sleep." 

 

"Is the hour over yet?" 

 

"40 Minutes left." 

 

Shaw sighed.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any dialogue/writing prompts I can use for these, send them to my curious cat curiouscat.me/ncrthernlites or on twitter @ ncrthernlites :)


End file.
